Since 1923 • For a greater Loyola

The Maroon

Since 1923 • For a greater Loyola

The Maroon

Since 1923 • For a greater Loyola

The Maroon

    Online Exclusive: How NOT to look like a freshman

    This story is from September 3, 1993

    Think way back. For some, this may be five years, for others, it may have been last week. Remember when you were…

    FRESHMEAT?

    There you were, right out of high school, ready to hit the college scene, without a clue of where you were going.

    So with a nervous smile and an outfit that took forever to put together, you left the dorm and tried to act like you weren’t a freshman.

    In that respect, you probably:

    • Followed the crowd of your new best friends to the Boot and spend $20 on drinks that tasted like gasoline and, of course, greasy Dino’s pizza. (Good thing you didn’t get more out of the ATM.)

    • Followed the crowd of your new best friends to the nearest fraternity party and drank all the free beer you could stand (and possibly a little more). If all went well, you were invited to the next one by the person who rushed you all night.

    • Jumped on the very hot, very crowded street car with the nasty little kids running around and headed downtown to Pat O’Brien’s, Kagan’s, Checkpoint Charlie, or whatever bar that suit your musical (or other) preferences. Afterwards, you stood on the street corner for at least an hour next to a psycho you swear you saw on “America’s Most Wanted” and some old person who smelled like last week’s garbage.

    • Last, and least, you stayed home whining about missing home, your boyfriend/girlfriend, high school, etc. Or, if you are one of the lucky few with a late birthday, you planned the death of the person who was “supposed” to get you a fake ID.

    Naturally, being new on the scene, you made a few mistakes.

    Hopefully, after reading this article, the poor but proud freshman class will have a better idea of how to improve their four (or five) year stay at Loyola.

    So freshman, keep reading. And keep this handy. (Upperclassmen, you will get a kick out of this one.)

    Number one rule-if you want to make this at all pleasant, you must stop complaining that all your friends went to another college and that they’re having a better time than you. You are in New Orleans, and it is possible to have fun without all your old buddies. If they’re out of state, they can’t get into bars. YOU CAN (if you’re 18)! If they’re at LSU, take consolation in the fact that bars close at 2 a.m., and at that time of night, it is next to impossible to find a place to eat in Baton Rouge.

    So there.

    Next step: get out of your room and meet people. You may get lucky and find great friends on your floor. If not, keep trying. DO NOT stay in your room and mope.

    Free kegs at the frat houses don’t last forever-take advantage while you can.

    If you do go to a frat party, make sure about whether or not they throw beer or “punch” during the party. This does not happen. If they do, ladies should wear a dark T-shirt and men should not keep eel-skin wallets in their back pockets (They’ll “melt”).

    When going out, bear in mind the best specials. Conserve cash for ordering pizza or Chinese food late at night. As a rule of thumb, you can have a good time on five or six bucks if you find a good special. Check your ads. Never take more than $20. You will never remember where it went.

    Please never walk back from Quill’s (or any other bar) by yourself. Ever.

    Once you know where the cheap drinks are, you will need to know where the cheap food is. Dino’s Pizza is $1.50 a slice, but is only open until 3 a.m. Fat Harry’s is where you go afterwards.

    Caution: pizza and cheese fries are not only fattening, they are addictive. By the way, even if you think you can stand hot peppers, avoid the temptation to put Dino’s crushed red peppers on your pizza. Trust me.

    Now, before you begin to think that Loyola is a hang-out for alcoholics, let me remind you that you are in for a lot of hard work.

    You are going to have papers coming out of places you never knew you could come out of.

    Macintosh-learn it, live it, love it. And do it quickly. You will need a satellite disk on most computers, so buy one from the MicroCenter for a dollar.

    If you have never used a Macintosh before, go to the WAC lab (Writing Across the Curriculum in downstairs Bobet). The fortunate few who have a word processing program on their computer will be harassed by those who have to rely on the university’s resources. Know now that hell will freeze over before all the computers in Buddig and Biever will work properly and will print on the laser printers.

    When all of the good computers are taken, and you are about to pull your hair out over a paper due the next day, go to the fourth floor of the Miller Library. You will not be able to laserprint there without having “Laserbucks” from the bookstore. Don’t worry, though. No professor is going to kill you if a short paper is done on a dot matrix printer.

    Speaking of classes, if you are in a hurry, avoid the elevators in Bobet, and most importantly, Marquette Hall. Even if you have a class on the fourth floor of that building, take the stairs. You will get there a lot faster.

    Don’t bother looking for the books in Miller Library. You will only find government documents, copy machines and study areas that are great for large groups depending on the one person who listened in class to help them pass an exam.

    A good thing to have is a working knowledge of the Greek alphabet (unless, of course, you hate everything about fraternities and sororities and you’d rather die than associate with them). Don’t embarrass yourself in the middle of T.J. Quill’s by asking a guy in a navy and white jersey why his shirt says: “BEER RAPE.”

    It’s good to know who gives student discounts (Galleria movies of $3.75 and the New Orleans Museum of Art is free.)

    Visit and be familiar with Tulane’s library (that big grey building marked Howard – Tilton). Its third floor is rumored to be one of the top ten places in the country to “pick up” members of the opposite sex.

    Oh yeah, it is also a great place to find the stuff you need to research that Loyola’s library does not provide. You may end up there a lot.

    One issue: Marriott. Get used to it. Yes, it’s tough, but remember that you get $3.55 for lunch and around $4.25 for dinner and no more. If you go over that (which is easy to do) and you don’t have any money on your cash card, you’ll have to fork over the dime extra by which you exceeded the limit.

    Everything but the Orleans Room is closed on the weekends. Sleep in and eat that left-over pizza on the shelf. It’s just as tasty.

    Just keep in mind that next year, the nightmare will all be over, or at least the freshman part of it.

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