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Marriage: Untying the political knot

The Eleventh Hour

Published: Thursday, November 19, 2009

Updated: Thursday, November 19, 2009

Alex Fournet

The Maroon

The Eleventh Hour

Sometimes it seems like the Republican Party is hell-bent on keeping itself as politically impotent as possible.  Let me be clear. I don’t mean it is unable to get votes or raise political capital. It can do both things.  On the other hand, it undermines itself at every turn.


Most key Republican tenets, like fiscal conservatism, small government and state rights, are ideas that people can accept on an intellectual level, whether they disagree with them or not.  Unfortunately, party elders insist on distracting from these more important issues to focus on things like the absurd crusade against gay marriage rights.


Not only does this distract, it repels an entire huge bloc of voters, namely an otherwise conservative youth.  Very few college educated young people can accept the idea that homosexual relationships are somehow inherently wrong and lesser.  Instead we see the hypocrisy of that argument: That a party that argues for smaller government insists on forcing government into the bedroom, the last place it should be.


I, for example, want nothing more politically than to ease taxes and government spending and make sure that I keep my guns.  Unfortunately, I cannot in good conscience vote for a man or woman who will not let my gay friends marry.  I believe that this holds true for many people.  Marriage, perhaps, is the wrong word – it has religious connotations. 

The government has no business marrying people.  Marriage is between two people and their church.  The government should grant civil unions to any two consenting adults who want to be together, and stop there.


Recently, during the November election in New York, the Republican Party machine became frustrated with candidate Dierdre Scozzafava because she was too liberal – meaning she backed gay rights.  She did, however, support the party on the all-important health care debate that was within mere votes of passing or failing. 

So, what did they do to hold their claim to the traditionally Republican spot?  Did they ignore that little fact and support her for the 98 percent of the times that she toed the party lines?


No! The Party backed ultra-conservative Doug Hoffman, who unsurprisingly, split the New York vote in half.  What happened next was fairly predictable. Scozzafava dropped out and backed the Democrat, at least in one instance citing her support for gay marriage, and the Republican candidate lost.


Why, someone please tell me, is it more important to support a hypocritical, pseudo-religious witch-hunt that has absolutely nothing to do with government, than it is to focus on serious issues that face our nation? 


Let’s face it, no matter how rabidly against it you are, you must admit that the gay marriage debate does not affect national security or welfare.  In fact, you are doing nothing but alienating a large chunk of voters, gay and straight, future and present, and more importantly, oppressing some of the truest Americans out nation has to offer, all in the name of patriotism. 


I would like nothing better than to join the fold of the Republican Party, but it always manages to push me away.

Alex Fournet can be reached at amfourne@loyno.edu
 

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7 comments

Jonathan Spalding
Mon Nov 23 2009 14:04
my offenses, nor by ignoring my crimes, my sins, my offenses, but love me by seeing me as an individual destined for greatness. Love me by helping me recognize my flaws and supporting me in overcoming them.

Once again I want to reiterate that I do not identify myself as a homosexual person, but rather an individual with homosexual tendencies. As such, I know how I feel and understand how others with homosexual urges feel, though many of them want to justify their feelings by legalizing gay marriage as if those feelings were normal so that they can fully indulge in them. Would a thief not be happy if robbery were decriminalized so he could rob whoever, whenever, whatever, without government intervention? At any rate, I recognize my flawed nature due to social influences. Yet recent legislations in the United States have given me hope. The Proposition 8 in California was voted down in November 2008 and the citizens of Maine upheld Question 1 in early November 2009; both decisions protected the institution of marriage and the foundation of society. I was overwhelmed with joy seeing these two policies enacted by the people, not simply the legislators. These moves retain respect for individual liberty, as well as small government; and they prevent the decriminalization of rape, murder, robbery, and other such crimes. But some issues still give me reason to worry. Being from out-of-state, I am alarmed at how openly inviting the city of New Orleans is to proud homosexuals. I have seen numerous rainbow flags pronouncing gay pride throughout the streets and they honestly make me sick. I think to myself, “If only these poor people knew what they are supporting.” And I was further disturbed by the Loyola University-sponsored Coming Out Day in mid-September. Various members of the LGBT community placed posters of famous homosexual figures throughout the campus and distributed purple wristbands in protest of hate crimes against homosexuals. I was offended by the posters because these public figures were celebrated primarily for their homosexuality, as if their homosexuality, their sexual flaw, made them great. That was extremely irritating because it sent the message that I can garner respect for simply being gay, even if I never do anything else with my life. They were not primarily recognized for their political, literary, artistic, or educational accomplishments, but for their sexuality. How ridiculous! On the flip side, the purple wristbands showed the university’s solidarity with gays’ right to life, something undoubtedly positive. It was certainly wrong for Matthew Shepherd to be killed simply because he was gay. But we should not act as if his behavior were right. He clearly proclaimed out loud with pride that he was gay. People would not be happy if someone were to proclaim him or herself a thief, a murderer, or a rapist, and do so with pride without punishment, or at least an investigation. To be proud of your flaw is wrong, and we should not laud this young man’s behavior, though we must decry his murder. We are disgracing his name by saying it was acceptable to be proudly gay. If society at large were to embrace homosexuality, that murder would have been legitimate. As I already explained, if one cannot be expected to control his or her sexual impulses, he will not be expected to control his impulses to murder. Murder would be a much more frequent offense if homosexuality were to be universally accepted as normal. Maybe this city’s openness to homosexuality and promiscuity is a prime cause for the exorbitant murder rate.

In conclusion, the article to which this one is a response is chock full of misunderstandings. It clearly reflects the warped ideas popular culture has towards homosexuality and gay marriage or civil unions. Our society is confused about rights and freedoms. On one hand we say each individual has a right to do whatever he or she wants, but on the other we deny the significance of freedom by recognizing certain rights that in truth are not rights at all. Rights come from God, not from the Constitution or from popular belief. And the debate on homosexuality confuses people even further. We desire to practice pluralism, but confuse it with relativism. We are afraid to speak up for fear of offending others. But we must stand steadfast in the truth, no matter how offensive that truth may be. And that truth means loving sinners without loving their sins; loving criminals, not their crimes.

P.S. I seek to remain anonymous for the simple reason that I have revealed things about myself in this article that I cannot yet discuss in public. I am still coming to terms with my identity and especially with my sexuality and I feel that if my peers were to connect my name with this current struggle of mine, I would have a much greater time dealing with it on a personal level. But I can say I am a freshman student, living on campus, who plans to major in sociology. God bless!

Jonathan Spalding
Mon Nov 23 2009 14:03
other crime imaginable, and simply changing the name of this binding of persons is not going to magically prevent that legalization of crimes. Those who support civil unions but not gay marriages do not understand the issue, nor do they want to offend people so as to not lose political support. But before anybody makes any assumptions on my part, I want to explain something. I recently heard a friend say he was put off when one church so ardently fights for a culture of life in opposing vociferously abortion, euthanasia, and stem-cell research, yet refuses to recognize rights for homosexual persons. He saw this as a blatant inconsistency and even hypocrisy of this particular church, but he, like many others, was quite confused. I had, and continue to struggle with homosexual tendencies, and I often run the risk of hating myself for this. But I sincerely want to live. I am a human being, as is every other person dealing with homosexuality. And so the movement opposed to gay marriage must be consistent, and here’s how: Government must recognize the inherent dignity of homosexual persons, as it does now. They, or rather we, have a right to life, like those embryos in the womb. But we also have a right to education, to work, to family, to friends, to voice our opinions, to participate in elections and politics, and many other rights. But we do not have a right to marry as we are. We do not have a right to marry same-sex individuals. It is very much consistent to believe in a culture of life without legitimizing state-recognized homosexual relations, as long as homosexuals are respected as human beings struggling like all other humans with character flaws. Society must fight for our rights to live free, but not our rights to indulge in our flawed behavior. I advise people to love us as human beings; just don’t love our sexual inclinations. You can embrace me without embracing my errors, my mistakes, my warped feelings. I can think of one man who gained billions of followers over the past 2,000 years for separating the sin from the sinner; for loving the robber, but not his robbery; for loving the prostitute, but not her prostitution; for loving the tax-collector, but not his usurping of money. Love me despite my flaws, not because of my flaws. This love still falls on deaf ears, unfortunately. People think love means tolerance, allowing one’s neighbor to do anything he or she so desires, without condemning him or her. But that’s a confused notion of love. Does a mother not love her child when she tells her son not to touch the stove when it’s hot? Would it be love if she allowed her son to burn his finger off just because that’s what he wanted to do? No. As Elie Wiesel said, the opposite of love is not hatred, but indifference. Similarly, Pope John Paul II said that the opposite of love is not hatred, but using someone. That exploitation is the cornerstone of homosexuality. Homosexuals see people of the same sex only in terms of sex, how they can please them physically. Homosexuality means using people of the same sex for my own delight, so that they will make me happy physically. Heterosexuality can take on that attitude, seeing members of the opposite sex as mere objects to be used for personal gratification, but because heterosexuality has the possibility for procreation, the possibility of seeing members of the opposite sex beyond a means of personal gratification is real. Whereas seeing a member of the same sex as a friend, with interests, goals, likes, dislikes, a family, a past, an inherent dignity, that is not homosexuality, but rather fraternity or comradeship. Heterosexuality can take on both a sexual nature as well as an emotional nature. Homosexuality, however, only includes a sexual nature, whereas comradeship is the term for this emotional bonding between members of the same sex. Love means seeing another person, or even oneself, as an individual capable of improvement, of making good decisions, of exercising control, and endowed with an inherent dignity and a contemplative mind. The homosexual mindset ignores this, and simply looks at people as things to be used for personal gain. This is the exact same attitude corporation bosses have towards their workers when they deny the workers decent wages and working conditions; they see the workers as machines who have no purpose beyond making a product or rendering a service. Homosexuality means an individual sees a same-sex individual as a machine that gives sexual pleasure, nothing else. Some will couple homosexuality with comradeship and call them the same thing: homosexuality, but they are very different ideas. A ban on gay marriage is a protection of fraternal relations. Allowing homosexual relations would discourage members of the same sex from being mere friends because it would almost impose a sexual implication on every relationship between same-sex members. This is more simple logic. Love me not by approving of my crimes, my sins, my offenses,...
Jonathan Spalding
Mon Nov 23 2009 14:01
find other liars to create a club and initiate a parade to fight for "rights for liars." No! Again, that is absolutely ludicrous. I see homosexuality not as something one is born with in his or her genes, nor as something one wakes up one morning and decides to choose. Rather, I see, from very personal experience, that homosexuality is a result of an individual’s childhood. It is a way of thinking, feeling, behaving. Yet it is wrong because it promotes hedonism, selfish pleasure; and it has no other purpose. Homosexuality damages the individual's understanding of self and neighbor, seeing people as but means to be used for sexual pleasure. It is based wholly on lust. In my sexuality, I saw in members of the same sex things that attracted me because I knew we were similar, but I had never learned about those things that made me male. I saw in others of the same sex things I liked about myself, but which I did not fully understand. I saw in them a mirror image of myself, and so by liking them, I liked myself. Now I can admit to the fact I have had homosexual urges, but do not identify with those. I am better than that. I can overcome that, just like I can overcome my tendency to lie or to be jealous or to bite my nails. Homosexuality is my tendency, not my nature, and so I can overcome it, control it, and change it.To explain this sole purpose of pleasure in homosexuality, former ambassador to the United Nations Alan Keyes stated, “Marriage is based upon heterosexual relations because they are connected to procreation. Where procreation is impossible, marriage is irrelevant. And that is the civic explanation against homosexual marriage. It is irrelevant. And the idea that one should have legislation that is regulating private friendships for no reason is a degrading of those friendships.” To say homosexuals have a right to marry legitimizes their warped relationship, and it would also legitimize abnormal social behaviors like lying, stealing, rape, slavery, even murder, and it would de-stigmatize the crippling effects of divorce. Also, legalization of gay marriage would send the message that people have no control over their behavior and that they cannot be trusted with their own freedom. The Republican Party wants small government to allow for freedom; by allowing homosexual marriage, the party would be defaming personal responsibility and denouncing personal freedom. In response to the second generalization at the end of the article, I cannot “admit that the gay marriage debate does not affect national security or welfare.” It does. Well, the debate may not have so much influence, but the consequence of a universal or at least national acceptance of gay marriage most definitely would have profound implications for national security, welfare, and other issues. How so? If the government were to legalize gay marriage, it would logically have to legitimize almost all crimes. As previously mentioned, homosexuality, like heterosexuality, has everything to do with behavior, as all crimes do. People have tendencies to rape children, murder neighbors, or steal cars, just as some people have the tendency or the urge to have sex with others of the same sex. Even in terms of heterosexuality, people have tendencies to leave their partner and enter into sexual relations with other people, committing adultery. And laws exist to prevent these from happening because they threaten the common good. Law is based on governing things people have control over, but who fail to exercise that control. The police cannot arrest someone for wanting to murder because they cannot read minds, but they can arrest someone when they actually murder a person. So too, nobody can prevent a person from having desires for people of the same sex, but when they have sex in public or proclaim publicly that they should be able to have sex with people of the same sex, the government and its enforcement, the police, should not stand by indifferently as if nothing were wrong. By legalizing gay marriage, and even by tolerating gay pride, the government would be sending a message that people cannot control their behavior or their inclinations, and that would legalize child prostitution, murder, rape, robbery, and a host of other crimes. And of course, if murder were to be legal, national security and welfare would be in grave danger. That is simple logic. Now many argue, like the writer, that many oppose the legalization of gay marriage because marriage is a religious term and should not be corrupted by encompassing homosexual relations, and thus they argue in support of civil unions. Yet again, that is absurd. Of course marriage has a religious connotation, but it is more than religion. It is a relationship that governs the most fundamental unit of society. You can call it marriage or you can call it a civil union, it will always be the same thing. By legitimizing this flawed relationship with government support would legalize almost every other crime...
Jonathan Spalding
Sun Nov 22 2009 15:28
It seems Western society has become so tolerant and even welcoming towards gay rights, especially the right to marry, in the name of pluralism, but I see it as confusion. To give some background, I am a young conservative whose family belongs overwhelmingly to the Republican Party. And I appreciate the Republican value of small government, as well as its commitment to high morals, though I do not identify myself with either the Republican Party or the Democratic Party. I consider my political party to be my faith; and the teachings of my Church are what propel me to participate in politics and express my voice, even if it may offend people.It is this fearful risk of offending people that prevents citizens of this country from speaking the truth. We are so focused on freedom and rights and individuality that we have lost all sense of the ultimate truth. If he wants to lie, it’s ok. If she wants to steal, it’s her business to do so, not mine. If those two homosexuals want a governmental recognition of their abnormal relationship, I should not stop them. No! That is such a ridiculous mindset that will eventually lead to the demise of our modern society. To say that an individual has the right to do whatever he or she wants to do is ludicrous. It legitimizes every act that infringes upon the inherent dignity of each and every human being. As far as the notion that the Republican Party seeks to govern in the bedroom, that again is absurd. Marriage is a public action outside the bedroom that unites two people into one common relationship which the government recognizes. I am not a Republican, but I understand that the party makes no claim in determining with whom people have sex, where they have sex, how they have sex, or anything to do with sex, which is wholly private. The Republican Party simply seeks to uphold the public relationship between one man and one woman which is the only kind capable of natural human reproduction. It is a lie that the Republican Party “insists on forcing government into the bedroom” because it just does not. It seeks to govern the accepted public cultural understanding of relationships. And of course the government has business marrying people. The family and spousal relations are the foundations of society. If society is failing, a big reason for that may be the breakdown of the family, and the government’s sole purpose is governing society to ensure it does not collapse. To say government should not be involved in marriage is to believe the government should not have a policy on war, on the economy, on education, on health services, all of which we expect the government to address. Yet the keys to a good society, and it appears the Republican Party recognizes this, as does my faith, are personal responsibility, personal conscience, personal morality, and personal governance. The idea of small government depends fully on each individual’s ability to govern him or herself, defending oneself and not posing a danger to the common good. The editor of this article makes hasty generalizations in this regard that completely destroy the entire argument. One generalization of which I am proof to the contrary: I am a young college-educated conservative, a freshman here at Loyola to be exact, and I do believe that “homosexual relations are wrong.” The writer should not attempt to speak for other people if he desires to retain any ounce of journalistic credibility. And I am not the only “young conservative” who holds to this understanding. But I want to explain why I and others believe this. I grew up without a father figure in my life; no dad, no grandpa, no male teacher, no close priest, no male coach, nobody. Every adult who cared for me in my adolescence was female. So I looked up to women. I imitated women. I saw how my mother was attracted to men, so I started to be attracted to young males, seeing them as foreign to me. I took an interest in peers of the same sex because I saw them as different, odd, unlike me, because I identified more with my mother and grandmothers and I was curious about those I did not know. I had an abnormal understanding of my masculinity, and so I misunderstood my sexuality. As I grew older, I sought more actively the male bonding I had been denied as a child; but later as an adult, I sought it among peers, not father figures. Yet it was my faith, “my Church,” that opened my eyes to the reality of my situation. Of course it was not my fault I had come to have homosexual tendencies; the blame lies in my abnormal childhood, the absence of a father figure, and the closeness with mother figures. I can admit to having homosexual tendencies, but do not content myself with a homosexual identity. This is similar to other offenses. I realize I lie not because I was born a liar, but because society influenced me to lie and failed to convince me that lying was wrong. Just because I lie at times does not mean I am a liar by nature. I’m not going to go out and find other...
Jonathan Spalding
Sun Nov 22 2009 15:25
It seems Western society has become so tolerant and even welcoming towards gay rights, especially the right to marry, in the name of pluralism, but I see it as confusion. To give some background, I am a young conservative whose family belongs overwhelmingly to the Republican Party. And I appreciate the Republican value of small government, as well as its commitment to high morals, though I do not identify myself with either the Republican Party or the Democratic Party. I consider my political party to be my faith; and the teachings of my Church are what propel me to participate in politics and express my voice, even if it may offend people.It is this fearful risk of offending people that prevents citizens of this country from speaking the truth. We are so focused on freedom and rights and individuality that we have lost all sense of the ultimate truth. If he wants to lie, it’s ok. If she wants to steal, it’s her business to do so, not mine. If those two homosexuals want a governmental recognition of their abnormal relationship, I should not stop them. No! That is such a ridiculous mindset that will eventually lead to the demise of our modern society. To say that an individual has the right to do whatever he or she wants to do is ludicrous. It legitimizes every act that infringes upon the inherent dignity of each and every human being. As far as the notion that the Republican Party seeks to govern in the bedroom, that again is absurd. Marriage is a public action outside the bedroom that unites two people into one common relationship which the government recognizes. I am not a Republican, but I understand that the party makes no claim in determining with whom people have sex, where they have sex, how they have sex, or anything to do with sex, which is wholly private. The Republican Party simply seeks to uphold the public relationship between one man and one woman which is the only kind capable of natural human reproduction. It is a lie that the Republican Party “insists on forcing government into the bedroom” because it just does not. It seeks to govern the accepted public cultural understanding of relationships. And of course the government has business marrying people. The family and spousal relations are the foundations of society. If society is failing, a big reason for that may be the breakdown of the family, and the government’s sole purpose is governing society to ensure it does not collapse. To say government should not be involved in marriage is to believe the government should not have a policy on war, on the economy, on education, on health services, all of which we expect the government to address. Yet the keys to a good society, and it appears the Republican Party recognizes this, as does my faith, are personal responsibility, personal conscience, personal morality, and personal governance. The idea of small government depends fully on each individual’s ability to govern him or herself, defending oneself and not posing a danger to the common good. The editor of this article makes hasty generalizations in this regard that completely destroy the entire argument. One generalization of which I am proof to the contrary: I am a young college-educated conservative, a freshman here at Loyola to be exact, and I do believe that “homosexual relations are wrong.” The writer should not attempt to speak for other people if he desires to retain any ounce of journalistic credibility. And I am not the only “young conservative” who holds to this understanding. But I want to explain why I and others believe this. I grew up without a father figure in my life; no dad, no grandpa, no male teacher, no close priest, no male coach, nobody. Every adult who cared for me in my adolescence was female. So I looked up to women. I imitated women. I saw how my mother was attracted to men, so I started to be attracted to young males, seeing them as foreign to me. I took an interest in peers of the same sex because I saw them as different, odd, unlike me, because I identified more with my mother and grandmothers and I was curious about those I did not know. I had an abnormal understanding of my masculinity, and so I misunderstood my sexuality. As I grew older, I sought more actively the male bonding I had been denied as a child; but later as an adult, I sought it among peers, not father figures. Yet it was my faith, “my Church,” that opened my eyes to the reality of my situation. Of course it was not my fault I had come to have homosexual tendencies; the blame lies in my abnormal childhood, the absence of a father figure, and the closeness with mother figures. I can admit to having homosexual tendencies, but do not content myself with a homosexual identity. This is similar to other offenses. I realize I lie not because I was born a liar, but because society influenced me to lie and failed to convince me that lying was wrong. Just because I lie at times does not mean I am a liar by nature. I’m not going to go out and find other...
Jonathan Spalding
Sun Nov 22 2009 15:25
Why can't I comment?
Chuck Anziulewicz
Thu Nov 19 2009 16:58
That Gay couples seek to marry is not an attack on marriage. If anything it is an ENDORSEMENT of marriage, an acknowledgment that it far better to encourage couples toward monogamy and commitment, rather than relegating them to lives of loneliness and promiscuity.

Ask any Straight couple why they choose to marry. Their answer will not be, "We want to get married so that we can have sex and make babies!" That would be absurd, since couples do not need to marry to make babies, nor is the desire or even the ability to make babies a prerequisite for obtaining a marriage license.

No, the reason couples choose to marry is to make a solemn declaration before friends and family members that they wish to make a commitment to one another's happiness, health, and well-being, to the exclusion of all others. Those friends and family members will subsequently act as a force of encouragement for that couple to hold fast to their vows.

THAT'S what makes marriage a good thing. Gay couples recognize that and support that. And I suspect that those who want to prohibit Gay couples from marrying do so only because they don't want to allow Gay couples the opportunity to PROVE that they are up to the task.

Exactly how is allowing Gay couples the exact same legal benefits, protections, and responsibilities that Straight couples have always taken for granted going to affect “traditional marriage?" Marriage equality for Gay couples will have precisely ZERO impact on your life, your marriage, your church, and your children. Your church will never be forced to marry Gay couples, any more than it is forced to marry non-Christian couples. Public schools will not be forced to “teach” about Gay marriage, any more than they are forced to teach about Straight marriage.

Instead you should ask yourself why law-abiding, taxpaying Gay Americans should be forced to subsidize all the legal benefits and responsibilities that Straight couples enjoy, when we are unable to take advantage of those same incentives to marry? And since when do voters get to decide that the rights that apply to them DO NOT apply to minorities?







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