Spread the Taco Bell love
Published: Friday, February 22, 2013
Updated: Friday, February 22, 2013 11:02
Taco Bell is the hottest spot in town.
You kids from out of town may have noticed something missing here in N’awlins. A few weeks ago, however, that void was filled — filled with burritos and a few squirts of fire sauce.
Some may ask: why so stoked? Firstly, your question is stupid. Out of all fast food options, Taco Bell is clearly the best value in terms of deliciousness and cost. I’m talking ninety-nine cent burritos! They also have cool sauce packets, now featuring weird favorites like salsa verde, which is green salsa! These packets have jokes written on them, meaning their sauce is saucy in more ways than one. Ketchup better step off.
There was a time when Tulane’s LBC had their own Taco Bell, meaning I could get a crappy meal on campus for less than five dollars instead of more than ten. Nothing that beautiful lasts. Taco Bell was soon replaced with Baja Fresh (Felipe’s less-hot twin), and now not even my burritos are safe from university upcharges. Today, there is not a single legitimate fast food restaurant within immediate walking distance from campus. You could say this is a good thing, as fast food is basically rat poison genetically altered to look edible.
However, many of our campus food options aren’t a whole lot healthier. I’m looking at you, Flambeaux’s. Have you seen their new Lucky 7 frequent buyer cards? You get one stamp for spending seven dollars at either The Market or Flambeaux’s. After seven stamps, you get a free seven dollar something. They’re aware of their prices. Even The Market, which has some cheaper options, often runs out of its PB&Js and cheapo breakfast biscuits long before they run out of their amazing five dollar turkey-on-stale-bread.
I’m not rich. I spent Mardi Gras working, and when my last shift ended, my friend Victoria Calder gave me a beautiful gift: a free ride to Taco Bell at 3:00 a.m. Today, I am spreading that Taco Bell love to all of you. Just ride the St. Charles Streetcar to the end of the line at Carrollton and Claiborne. Transfer to the Claiborne Avenue bus. Get off at Claiborne and Washington, and enjoy! Spread the T-Bell love. Prepare for long lines. Like I said, it’s the hottest spot in the city.
Make sure you look up the bus schedule before you embark on your Taco Bell adventure because the busses run less often than the streetcar. Bring your friends and spread the Taco Bell love!
Chacha Murdick can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org